Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
