It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
