i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
