I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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