she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
