So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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