Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
