Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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