After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
