ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
