So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
