i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
my liver is dry heaving
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
