Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
