one two three fourrrrnication!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
