Whoa Z and x make the same sound
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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