organizing the empties. That sober.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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