Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
