You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
