So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
