He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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