I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
