Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
