It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
