My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So many bounce houses so little time
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
