I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My feet surprised me
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