The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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