Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Its about making memories worth repressing
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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