im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
