hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
