I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
