If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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