well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
