'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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