I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
