so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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