This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
