all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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