That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
