Ambien. No doubt about it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
