She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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