I only kidnapped one of them. chill
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
