i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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