eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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