Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
