So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
