): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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