'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
