i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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