why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
