with your own penis?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
