I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
