between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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