I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
