Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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